DAN's world cup newsletter vol. 2
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Greetings all. Time for an update methinks. We’ve had a week of footie so far and on the whole I’m pleased by what I’ve seen. However before I wax lyrical there have also been some down sides.
First in the minus column is the television coverage. I know that both BBC and ITV are using German pictures so I can’t hold them accountable, but whoever the director/producer is needs a good talking to. Football is a game played within the confines of a pre-marked out “pitch”. The game centres around a “ball” and the aim is to secrete said object into a “net” placed at either end of the “pitch”. As a result any TV coverage should be largely concerned with the above. However the German director seems to think that what we really want to see is substitutes warming up on the touchline and fans with funny hats on in the crowd. Football stands by itself as it doesn’t need any peripheral nonsense to keep it interesting. Sort it out Klaus before a strongly worded letter wings itself to you courtesy of yours truly!
The biggest gripe I have is with the commentators. How these individuals manage to cram so much bollocks and cliché into 90 minutes is a wonder. When Germany scored their 4th against Costa Rica the commentator said that the locals would be “banging the tables with their steins in the beer halls of Munich tonight”. What a lazy and idiotic use of a national stereotype. This got me thinking and I’ve come up with a number of alternatives in the same vein:
“The English will be putting knotted hankies on their heads and eating fish and chips in Grimsby tonight.”
“The French will be grunting and shrugging and stuffing their faces with garlic in Toulouse tonight.”
“The Italians will be riding round on their scooters, pinching women’s arses and then going home to mamma for some delicious pasta in Genoa tonight.”
You get my point I’m sure.
Last but not least. BBC and ITV, at half time I would like 15 minutes of analysis of the game I’ve just been watching. What I don’t want is 5 minutes analysis and 10 minutes on how Rooney is getting on. While I’m at it I would like my pundits to have some measure of insight and intelligence so get Ian Wright and his non-sensical ramblings off my screen!!!
Rant over.
On the plus side the football has been superb. We’ve seen some cracking matches with the Argies victory over Ivory Coast the stand out game. The emphasis seems to have been on attack rather than defence and we’ve seen teams having a go when in the past the start has been slow and tentative.
Holding my hand up and bowing my head slightly I confess that my punditry in volume 1 of this newsletter was somewhat off the mark in places.
Group A has shown that Ecuador are a capable team away from the high altitude even if they haven’t really been tested yet. (Poland have been shite!)
Group B is going to plan despite the fact that England and Sweden have failed to get going yet.
Group C is as good as I’d expected with both games so far being exciting and skilful affairs. The Argies looked particularly good and I think Riquelme has to be up there with the very best in world football at the moment.
Group D, who cares?
Group E has seen the big two start with a bang and show the best form in the competition so far. I still fancy the Czechs to top the group though.
Group F kicked off with Australia taking their time to put the Japs in their place. Brazil looked lazy and laboured and I only hope that they improve on what was a below par performance. Adriano and Ronaldo looked disinterested and overweight and although the Croats had a real go with two fit strikers Brazil would have spanked them.
Group G saw South Korea and Togo showing what two 2nd division teams would do if they played at the world cup. Piss poor! France and Switzerland were only marginally better and both qualifiers from this group won’t go far!
I was way off the mark in Group H wasn’t I!!! Spain got off to a flyer and only some sort of disaster will see them fail to qualify now. I still fancy Ukraine to qualify as the Saudis and Tunisia did very little to impress in their game.
On the whole the competition has been superb. The refing has been decent and one can only hope that FIFA don’t stick their noses in as they’ve done in previous competitions. Some of the goals have been of the highest order and the “new ball” has aided the best players in their endeavours. I think we should remind the commentators that the new ball doesn’t score by itself but relies on the skill and prowess of the player kicking it to find its way to the goal.
Happy viewing all, and I’ll be in touch next week sometime.
Dan